Somatic Healing is Possible

Baseball was my first love. It was my passion and safe place in a world full of pain and loneliness. Playing, practicing, and working out filled most of my time, and of course, I had all the stats memorized. My best times were on a field or a court. Then, at 15, my arm stopped working. In a moment, everything changed. I had just pitched a two-hitter, and I thought I heard God say, "You're not gonna play sports after high school." Within a week, I could not throw from second to first in the air.

I kept playing baseball through high school, but I soon rotated through every position on the field to hide the weakness in my arm. My shoulder pain quickly expanded—the label for the pain was chronic tendonitis down both my arms and across my chest. Hours and hours of physical therapy & rest did not bring relief.

I learned to approach every moment like it could be my last. Fear of losing anything I loved drove me at a frantic pace.  Shortly after my injury, I started writing songs and playing guitar, leading to years of touring and over 1,000 shows. Still, my arms never gave me any trouble despite the very physical nature of my rock n' roll antics. But whenever I would throw a ball, my arm would pop. I would slink back into defeat, overcome with sharp pain.

Was Healing Possible?

During grad school, while sitting outside doing homework at Crow Coffee in south Kansas City, while reading "The Whole-Brain Child," curiosity hit me. When my arm stopped working, maybe, just maybe, my body had experienced a trauma response, not divine intervention.

Maybe healing was possible? I had to find out. I began to revisit my memories through talk therapy, EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), and myofascial release. Slight shifts seemed to be taking place. I was pushed back against what I long believed was unchangeable.

A few months into my somatic healing journey, I read an Instagram post by Jason Kander about playing adult baseball. My mind lit up. Could my mental health journey truly lead to playing sports again? I had to try. I signed up for a men's baseball league a day later. I was very tentative. What would happen? Could I throw? Would the pain all race back? To my surprise, the next day, my muscles were just sore like anyone else who hasn't played a sport in 20 years. It turns out The Body Keeps the Score.

So what now?

As I type this, I am 5 seasons into pitching in an adult baseball league. It has far surpassed anything I could have ever imagined, and it turned out to just be one of the ways I have been able to somatically recover.  Revitalizing my passion has been amazing, and the kicker is that I now get to help people recover (Using EMDR and many other tools) from the types of debilitating emotional trauma I experienced.

If you're wondering if healing is possible from your internal block, reach out today, and let's get curious.