"I’m wondering about the Campolo-effect, or how people are often easily offended by utterly unimportant things while completely ignoring things that are important and on which human lives depend. It's not an official name, but it comes from this quote from Christian preacher Tony Campolo:

“I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.” ― Tony Campolo

Do you know the psychological explanation?

Dear B.

Thanks for writing. I will attempt an answer at the risk of minimizing true injustice in the world.

I believe what we perceive as “offensive” often concerns human wiring and survival. We are social creatures, in essence, pack animals, so it’s in our best interest to be offended by what those in our culture or friend group are offended by. In a way, we are all socialized in what we should prioritize. Speaking out or seeing things differently has potential consequences, including expulsion from a group.

Other contributing factors are that it is easy to feel powerless, psychologically stuck, or not personally responsible when the problem is far away or too big. If you are in survival mode or think you don’t have the power to change anything, you will gravitate to what you can control, such as regulating someone’s speech or giving up before you start. I once met a professor of ethical architecture who factored proximity into his work to increase connection.

In the case of the Campolo Effect, breaking a cultural taboo can feel more personal & than hearing what feels like an overwhelming statistic far beyond a person's control. Does it make it right? No, it does not. By all means, do what you can. That said, we are not supposed to feel responsible for fixing every problem in the world. It’s impossible. Some of what can be damaging about modern news & social media is that if we aren’t careful, we are fed a non-stop cycle of rage and responsibility. I think it's more effective to find one or a few causes to care deeply about & do something focused and sustainable.

So, the question becomes, how do we move beyond stuckness, survival mode, and petty offense toward being agents for good in the world? This is a big question. I recommend some healthy introspection if you find yourself in that emotional space.

Here are some ways to explore your purpose:

1. As best you can, make sure you’re well-rested and hydrated. This really can't be emphasized enough.

2. Grab a notebook and pen.

3. Before you start, do some box breathing.

4. Next, remember a few things you have been grateful for IN THE PAST.

5. Now, begin reflecting on your values. Use this Brene Brown resource if you need to identify your values.

6. Next, see if you can recall anyone who impacted you and the world by living out their values.

7. Finally, see if an area comes to mind that you would like to have a positive impact on.

8. If you think of something, write it down as your charitable goal and put it somewhere you can see it.

9. Ask what is the first step you can take toward this goal. Proceed.

If you find yourself blocked or stuck in a way of thinking you can't escape, let's talk.